Questioning - Even though I know we are where God wants us, I have to admit that at times when talking to God I ask him why he has moved us here, especially when I was finally feeling settled in California. I mean it took me two years to finally feel at home there and to have friends (it takes me awhile to form close friendships). I truly liked where we lived, only wished my family was there too. I always assumed God would take us back to Texas to be closer to family if He moved us again. As you know, one of the things I've really struggled with is finding a midwife and doctor here.
Confirmation - I received a letter in the mail last Thursday. It was from my midwife in California. I was shocked to learn that the hospital I delivered Levi at discontinued maternity services as of May of this year. To make a long story short, my midwife has taken a job in Arizona and will see patients on a limited basis who want to remain with her at a birth center near where we lived in California. If we had stayed in California, I would have been left to either find a doctor that delivered in a hospital setting different from the previous hospital in order for me to have the pain medication I have grown accustomed to during deliveries or I would have been having a natural childbirth at the birthing center and probably not with my midwife as she would be out of state 4 days out of the week. As sad as I am to learn this, it really has helped me. I can no longer say, "If only. . ." Isn't it amazing how even though I should trust God and not question his decisions for my life, that he's willing to give me such a clear answer/reason to help me feel at peace with where we are today?
**Please refrain from comments that mention I look like I could have this baby at any time or that my children and I all need haircuts. I know these things are true, I just don't want to hear them. My plan is to take care of these two things in the next few weeks. Before and after pictures will be taken of both events.